Email: info@nvmckenzie.co.za | Twitter: @NVMcKenzie

Now You Must Find a Husband

Earlier this year, I left the studio to find that someone had left this note on my car windscreen.

photo-1

Yes, I am at that age where people ask when I’m getting married and having children. Some seem genuinely concerned for my mental wellbeing (apparantly not being married is supposed to drive a woman to the brink insanity), some express their sympathy that I’m not married yet, while some come up with theories as to why I supposedly haven’t found ‘the one’ and how I can overcome this. Very few people actually take the time to ask me why I have chosen to not get married yet. Few people stop to consider that I have chosen this path for myself and few realise that I am happy with the decisions that I have made.

I am what I call a ‘love optimist’ and I believe strongly in love and commitment. I think marriage is beautiful but I also believe that it must be entered into with love, honesty and unwavering commitment. That I have chosen to not be married is not about fear or, as some would believe, some assertion of my ‘independent woman’ status.

Will I ever get married? I don’t know. I prioritise the honesty, commitment and love in a relationship, whatever context that offers itself in.

Will I ever have children? I don’t know. That is not within my control. Many people hope to have children and never do; many people never plan to have children and yet they do.

What I do know is that love, respect, honesty and commitment are what matter to me. If I have that, I have what is most important to me.

Why Do You Want to Get Married?

Here is an interesting piece on thinking carefully about the expectations we go into marriage and relationships with.

6 Reasons Not to Get Married