Earlier this year, I left the studio to find that someone had left this note on my car windscreen.
Yes, I am at that age where people ask when I’m getting married and having children. Some seem genuinely concerned for my mental wellbeing (apparantly not being married is supposed to drive a woman to the brink insanity), some express their sympathy that I’m not married yet, while some come up with theories as to why I supposedly haven’t found ‘the one’ and how I can overcome this. Very few people actually take the time to ask me why I have chosen to not get married yet. Few people stop to consider that I have chosen this path for myself and few realise that I am happy with the decisions that I have made.
I am what I call a ‘love optimist’ and I believe strongly in love and commitment. I think marriage is beautiful but I also believe that it must be entered into with love, honesty and unwavering commitment. That I have chosen to not be married is not about fear or, as some would believe, some assertion of my ‘independent woman’ status.
Will I ever get married? I don’t know. I prioritise the honesty, commitment and love in a relationship, whatever context that offers itself in.
Will I ever have children? I don’t know. That is not within my control. Many people hope to have children and never do; many people never plan to have children and yet they do.
What I do know is that love, respect, honesty and commitment are what matter to me. If I have that, I have what is most important to me.